Monday, December 17, 2012

One article isn't the answer.

With regard to the article I keep seeing shared.  People seem to be virtually searching for someone to have an answer to this tragedy.  There are professionals for this, and we may never have the answer considering Adam Lanza and his mother are no longer with us.

This is very private for me to share but I am writing it because I keep seeing this article being passed along enthusiastically on Facebook. I am not a doctor, but have spent my entire life taking care of someone who is mentally ill. Even as a young child when I had no idea what I was involved in.  I've spent holidays in mental wards, seen the horrors of extent of what the human mind can do and share in the horrible frustration these diseases bring our families.   Like anything else we need more help, but I think this article is irresponsible. The public does need to be aware, I as a family member need more support and resources. Truth of the matter is we aren't a country full of twisted horrific mentally ill killers. Most of us will never deal with true mental illness in a child or family member.  Now, some facebook users will read this article posted like doctrine and suddenly think they understand or have the answers.  Mentioning ADHD and other social disorders that kids are over diagnosed with right now along with the names of multiple mass murderers to explain how broken the mental health care system is does nothing to help the rest of us. It will probably add to the urge to hide and seclude what I am really dealing with. Did you know after reading this article that many mentally ill people aren't violent? I wouldn't have. We now have a ton of people on social media that still have no clue about what these children and adults truly need, just more self proclaimed experts with a voice.  In my experience (the last 15 yrs)  psychiatric hospitals need more money, patients need access to private care, stigma and assumption from the doctors need to be removed. Get rid of government run social programs that take these patients from the hospitals to society like an assembly line rather than individuals with very different diseases. Families need to say NO when someone is threatening to harm themselves or others and the emergency room says they have no psych beds. Drive to the next county and find one. Learn the system yourself.  Like any challenging sickness paired with bureaucracy it's exhausting, it can destroy your family. But you CAN take care of those in need- it's just a horrible cycle with many obstacles we hope are being corrected. Turning this issue into the next Komen-like branded conversation in America is not going to help- and bunching many different diagnoses of mental illness into an event like this is such a sad thing for the rest of us, who actually have to live it.  The final thing I will say is none of us are Adam Lanza's mother. We are all judging her and she isn't here to defend herself.  I wish strength and courage to anyone dealing with true mental illness and if this tragedy helps better the system of care, then I am all for it- but this isn't a time to link such a complex arena of sickness to an event none of us can begin to piece together.  I never see the outrage of terrorists overseas killing tons of children w/car bombs or shelling their happens daily... no one ever searches for answer why?  I guess I will never understand where people draw their lines in judgement. Bless those innocent children and staff at Sandy Hook Elementary, may they rest in eternal peace.

Monday, September 10, 2012

The 11th Year.

     Tomorrow marks the 11th year since that tragic day we call 9/11/2001.  As with every year since 9/11, it is automatic that my thoughts get foggy, my moods are inconsistent and my worries weigh heavily on my mind.  This year, more than last there is a glaring significance that stares me in the face.

     Last night, my husband positively reflected on how America has prevailed over the intentions of those monsters.  The terrorists.  As a solider, he is pretty well versed and has earned a valid opinion on the topic.  His opinion was, aside from the wars... how successful were they in "destroying" America?  He felt, all in all we have rebounded and other than the Airline industry, every day Joe isn't effected.  I agree, I guess.

     Eleven years since the smell of burning fuel and a cocktail of other things filled my apartment, my life is still touched.  It is the Fall of 2012 and all of the joys that is a happy and healthy family has a cloud of anxiety looming.  The cloud is a direct effect of September 11th 2001.  Eleven years later, I will be watching my two daughters ship their father off to Afghanistan this winter. No party politics or miracle will alter that as of now.

My dear husband, we are the Americans still effected. Not broken, but effected.

What happened in NYC that day, in DC and in PA was tragic and horrific. Would I erase it from my memory? No.  I physically witnessed the true goodness and pride that does exist in this country.  There is a sick voice in my head that wishes without the death and destruction it could be September 12, 2001 everyday.  Especially, this year. I want to be confident that those around me are as proud to be an American as I am when I send my husband and his fellow soldiers to war for the umpteenth time.  I want them to think of all of the loss on that day and the sacrifice regular citizens made to help one another across the country.  Why we need absolute tragedy or a more significant anniversary to stop from our daily lives and become united again I personally will never understand.

I remember the families and victims almost daily. I am thankful for the heros that stepped up that day, and now may be suffering with sickness.  I am thankful for all of the heros that continue on, because our leaders ask them to.  Most of all,  I am thankful to live in this beautiful country everyday regardless of all the bull and distractions in between.

Never Forget. September 11th 2001.

Monday, January 30, 2012

With a Budget that big.....

All of us in the Fashion/Design community understand the realities and constraints of our work.  Fast fashion has become something we have all come to love and hate.  Personally, I usually try not to get too wrapped up in the little details or my head would spin.  When product development was my main job, market shopping and "inspiration" is just a reality.  I am also speaking to working at a mass and fast fashion level, not Designers who are known for being the inspiration behind our fast fashion.  Anyhow, like I said, I try not to let my head spin at the realities of what some 24 yr old "designer" is doing in their cube for 12 hours a day.

Last week I had read on about the U.K. design team allegedly knocking off an Atlanta based artists work for some home goods at H&M UK.  Annoyed, but not REALLY effected.
Today? Head is spinning.

See the H&M drama here:

Let us proceed.

My best friend Kat is the owner and designer of the brand BabyLady Inc.  BLI is a kids line she started from scratch, out of her home on no sleep with a household to run.  She has 2 beautiful children and a 9-5 job that keeps it all going.  Since the launch of her line in Fall 2010, she has run a graphic on t-shirts, bags and sweatshirts called "Blushing Eyes" that has become a signature of the brand.  Her line has done really well, is all American made and continues to grow at a retail level internationally.  Today, excuse my french.... my head is FUCKING spinning. Apparently Paul Smith's design team thought with a few elements of change, they could make HER "Blushing Eyes" their own.  Maybe legally, sure... Kat probably can't do much. As a member of the Fashion Community, small business owner and mother trying to make the glue to keep it all together, I say shame on all of you "designers" (really?).  Shame on your sample budget for not leading you to an ounce of creativity and shame on your parents for not teaching you about pride or work ethic.

Here is BLI's original "Blushing Eyes" work:

*you can see all of the pieces seasonally in her line sheets

And here is the Paul Smith Brand genius (put your finger over the mouth and nose):
And I must say, they made it look like..... how would you say it in the UK? Rubbish.

I love you Kat, keep on keepin' on... Brooklyn style. What.

Support BabyLady Inc. here: